Spires #4

ARC provided by NetGalley

Author: Alexis Hall

Pansies is being rereleased with a few changes and bonus material. It is the story of Alfie and Fen. They went to school together and Alfie was pretty much the bane of Fen’s existence. He and his buddies terrorized the “pansy” boy relentlessly.  Years have passed and we know now that Alfie is out as a gay man himself. He’s back in South Shields as a very successful, rich, investment banker to be the best man at his best friend’s wedding. After a cringy “Ellen at the airport” situation where he sort of made a public “announcement”, he flees the wedding reception to a bar and has a one night stand with an absolutely mesmerizing man… and this man is Fen.

I was hesitant to go into this one because I usually don’t enjoy “bully-turned-into-lover” romance  but I trust Alexis Hall and he didn’t disappoint. This book is not for everyone, though,  for   other reasons – it’s slow. Not many things actually happen. It mostly revolves around conversations and figuring out things about themselves and about life. 

It’s also not about “awakening” – they pretty much know who or what they are, but there is a lot of struggle on Alfie’s side on dealing with internalized homophobia and how he’s “supposed to behave”. 

I loved their romance but the dreaded third act conflict resorts to one of things in a romance I really can’t stand. I get that it fits the narrative and ties the story arc of Alfie not being the teenage bully anymore, but I found it really frustrating. 

I also adored Gothshelley and all the secondary characters. Sweet and poignant story.

As bonus material, there is a lasagne recipe and some very interesting annotations by the author in the new version. There has been no change to the previously released audiobook.

Content notes: (from author’s website)  past bullying (one character bullied the other when they were children), internalized homophobia and internalized toxic masculinity (challenged on page), parent with Alzheimer’s, death of a parent (happens in the past and off page), grieving, euthanasia (happens in the past and off page), homophobic language, homophobia, mild violence